Lots of people complain about the lack of content in Sea of Thieves. Ok, I've started my article with the standard SOT open, so we can move on now.
It was late, the seas were choppy, and we had been collecting loot for a couple of hours. SOT can be a surprising amount of work, so this is probably the most productive I had been all week, including as an employee and as a father. Then shit started going sideways. The game had only been live for two days, so one should expect glitches. But when Nick hopped on the ship, and one of our treasure boxes was missing, it was a big disappointment.
We gave SOT the benefit of the doubt that this was a one-time problem and sailed on. We didn't really lose our shit until a skull also went missing. At this point, Nick, Curt, and I thought maybe someone had snuck onto our ship (I had been keeping a proper lookout, but you never know). I felt like I had let the guys down when boogerP1rate69, our random fourth person, assured me it wasn't my fault, he hadn't seen anyone either. We sailed on.
I know you've already figured this out, but at the time I was still innocent, naive to the cruelties of the sea, unaware of how it can make a man go mad as he stares into those murky blue depths.
I would soon learn.
Upon returning to an outpost to turn in our one lone skull, we found even it was also missing. So we searched the ship for a stowaway to no avail. It was when boogerP1rate69 suggested -- with no hint of sarcasm -- that "maybe a ghost took our stuff" that we promptly voted him into the brig.
"Did you fucking hide our shit?" I asked.
His reply came in the form of a text to my Xbox account as a simple "YES..."
That's when I knew we had the greatest fucking pirate ever on our ship. Curtiss quit immediately and went to bed; I sent the guy a friend invite. He madly swore up and down that if we let him out, he would be "A good TACO pirate." I couldn't sign off with him still in the brig; he was genius, but he couldn't win.
I went above deck and sailed in circles waiting for him to quit. That's when I heard the accordion music faintly from below and knew this was going to be a long night.
He eventually did sign off, and I knew I had met madness incarnate. boogerP1rate69 you are playing on Xbox Eight while the rest of us are playing on Xbox One.